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Post by Aaron of Asturias on Jan 29, 2007 23:14:34 GMT -5
"I will be back and I'll be here tonight." He said clearly, he didnt want to have the man feeling like he was being abandoned and he really cared abou thim. Softly brushing his lips against the boy's cheeks, he really just wanted him to feel a little better and just stayed there for a moment before he stroked a warm hand over the boy's hair. "
He would be back in time so that they coudl both go see Li together because he had made a promise and would keep it because it was somethign important to him and he just gave him a soft smile before running his own fingers back through his hair and turning to go.
"Love you."
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Post by Jilin Sun on Jan 29, 2007 23:21:13 GMT -5
The boy did not really say anything to that. He had tried to be nice but it was not really worth it. He smiled softly and he nodded but he just flipped his laptop open and he curled on his sides, laying down on the bed. He did not really feel like talking and he did not want to pry in what the other man was going to do with his lover. It was not his place but sometimes it would probably be hard... becaus ehe did not have that kind of special relationship.. he could never really allow himself to be this way.
He did not say anything but he just tried to focus on his work but it was pointless. After half an hour, he just closed the screen and he grabbed the pillow abd he hugged it tightly. Once more, he let himself fall into tears for no obvious reason. He was just crying his head off and when his husband came back into the small, asian room, the boy was restnig on his stomach, half asleep, half sobbing..
He did not even know why he was crying anymore.. he just knew that he was... and that he was sad...
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Post by Aaron of Asturias on Jan 29, 2007 23:27:17 GMT -5
Aaron had spent the time just talking quietly to Aeris who had curled up close and just wanted to have some time with his Master, it was a strange relationship for Aaron but it was somethign deeply comforting, almost like having his twin back, Mireia often coming in when she was unsettled and sleeping beside him. He hadn't done anything other then cuddle the boy and assure Aeris that the boy would be the only other in that regard, to just have hte boy know that he was special to Aaron too. Leaving the boy exhausted and asleep on hte bed.
"...Sun..." He whispered softly, coming over to the bed having cme back early, reaching out to stroke the boy's back softly and lift the boy into his arms gently, cuddleing him warmly.
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Post by Jilin Sun on Jan 29, 2007 23:34:05 GMT -5
Sun was shaking again. He had taken his pills so things were not so bad as before and he still was rather coherent on some things. He jsut was feeling totally weirded out and he wanted to give up on some things. He just sighed softly and he shook his head for a moment. What was he meant to do? He did not even know what to tell Aaron. At least the man was trying to be there for him, but he knew that it was not lal that true of an intention. He probably would rahter be somewhere else..
He just hugged his pillow tighter and he burried his face into the soft material. He knew that they were supposed to meet Liang soon but he just did not know if he had the strength to go and to hold back his sadness for a little while longer.
"....why...?" His voice was light but still hoarse from all the crying. "...I don't understand.. why it hurts so much.. that you have a lover... someone else to go to... someone else to talk to.. someone else to enjoy being with.. when in the end.. it's my fault.... I... don't understand... why I have to feel this pain and thi sdarkness.. and this sadness... maybe because.. I will never feel that.. I feel so.. hollow..."
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Post by Aaron of Asturias on Jan 29, 2007 23:43:17 GMT -5
He had wanted to come back to his lover, shifting up on to the bed, Sun was pulled inot his arms and into his lap, cradling the boy clsoe his face nuzzled into the boy's soft hair holdin ghim close. He didn't know if he could give the boy an answer... really he didn't...
He tried hard to think of what he should say, his eyes closing for a long mometn as he just tried to think of something to say to make the boy feel better.
could it be that Sun felt he was not enough for Aaron... he didn't know and just hugged his lover very close, cuddling him tightly and whispering just how much he loved him.
He didn't know what to say other hten what he felt.... he didn't want to make this worse... He shook his head, he didn't know what made the other man feel that... not a celar easy answer.
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Post by Jilin Sun on Jan 29, 2007 23:50:06 GMT -5
"...This is not love, Aaron... Friendship.. trust... but not love.... you could do without me.. you would have less problems.. you could just be happy yourself..."
That was just how things seemed to Sun. It was friendship that they were feeling, it was a strong bond but it was not love. There was nothing romantic in their relationship, there was nothing passionate either. It was deep and it was based on trust.. but it was nothingt aht was as deep as love could be. That was his opinions but maybe he was so lost because he never had friends, much less lovers. H ehad missed a whole part of being a normal person.
"..I don't want to mind the fact that there is someone else... but it just... hurts... to think about it... to think of those things you will get out of life that I will never get to taste." The boy was a little bit jealous, and he was feeling like he was not good enough but it was his fault for not enjoying men as he did women, after all.
He slipped away from his husband's grip and he went to the bathroom, leaving the door open but he wanted to run a cold cloth over his eyes. "...we should think of going anyhow... I made such a mess with myself again..."
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Post by Aaron of Asturias on Jan 29, 2007 23:58:14 GMT -5
Aaron sighed softly as he sat on hte edge for the bed, long locks falling across his eyes and he just let out a soft breath, would it be just better fi they broke the bonds? So that Sun could find someoen that made him happy? He didn't know, he really did care deeply for the boy... all he wanted was to see Sun happy and for himself to be happy too.
"If you ever want to be free... All I want is for both of us to be happy."
He stood upwards and wasnodding.
"Alright she's going to be waiting for us..."
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Post by Jilin Sun on Jan 30, 2007 0:04:43 GMT -5
"...I can't do that either. Do you know why? If I break this marriage I will be the most worthless piece of shit to my family. I think that my situation si bad as it is and I don't need to have more problems over that." This much was true. His family thought that this wedding was a good thing, and it could ahve been but they just had to find their limitatons, to set the right and the wrong. The boy would ust need to do a lot of 'getting used to' because this was clearly not going as he would have liked it to.
He was meant to die alone, it seemed. But that was just how things were for weird freaks like him so what was there to do about it? He certainly was not going to fight it tooth and nail. His husband wanted to see osmone else, fine. But he could not do that... so in the end he knew what the outcome was. "..I think we just need to set things down.. and.. learn what is wrong and what is not. I will just get over myself, sice that's all there is to do."
He smiled slightly and he fixed his outer vest, for once feeling completely free to wear something that was a little bit tighter. "..how do I look?" He was done crying and he was reasoning again. Maybe he would find someone.. someone with whom it would just not be so damn wrong.
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Post by Aaron of Asturias on Jan 30, 2007 0:17:44 GMT -5
"You look very cute." He smiled at the boy before standing up and brushing back his hair out of his dark golden eyes, "Quite dashing." Smiling softly before he was wrapped his fingers around Sun's, drawing the smaller man to his side and just wanting to have him close like that for a little while.
Soon they were out in the streets, Aaron leadin ghim towards a rather nice little place near the Korean sector and waited by a fountain it was rather nice and he dropped in a coin to make a soft wish, following an old tradition.
"Sun." He smiled softly before gesturing to a slender girl who was lookin grather cute where she was standing waiting for someone. "I think she's waiting to meet you."
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