Why can't you just be yourself..?

[Aaron of Asturias]

"I know what you mean..." He said softly his eyes closing as he just took a deep breath and hugged his love close, "Its... not that kind of feeling I guess..." He sighed softly, his eyes closing for a long moment as he ran his fingers back htrough his hair.

"You won't be alone for long though... She should be here soon enough... I got you a Korean friend... so that you wouldn't be lonely. She's quite beautiful and really nice."

He had wanted to be able to do something for the boy, wanting to give him someone so that he wouldn't be lonely when Aaron was gone. "Li-ahn Cho, it was meant to be a surprise... but I want you to be able least happy to have someone that does speak fluent Korean and Spanish for you."

[Jilin Sun]

"...I...." The boy dd not really know what to say. It was really nice of his husband to be doing something like that but he was not sure what to think about it all. He was just wondering why this man would jsut find him someone this way an why he would do this.. but ti was true that he would probably be always away and so the boy would not really fel all that comfortable in the end. he would really feel left out and unloved.. well, that was part of his life, after all.

"...I don't mean to say.. that I feel nothing for you.. I really like you... but it's not the same... you're more like a best friend than anything else..." He juset closed his eyes and he wrapped his arms around the other man'S neck, feeling it weird to hug him tihgtly without having his chest in the way.

"...I just know... that yo really will have to be going... and to be doing thing..." He would probably be off with Aeris most of the time. And then Sun would just end up feeling even more bummed. "..... who is she?" He wanted to know why he had asked her to come... and who she was? This was something weird to do for Aaron consiering the situation. Well, it was not like that girl would ever find any interest in Sun since he was meant to be gay.

[Aaron of Asturias]

"The daughter of an old friend of mine. He wants Li to have someone to be with that is Korean. She's a trader and weaver, quite a wonderful artist." He was hugging the boy before he dug around in his pants pocket and pulled out a picture of the girl.

Li-ahn was extremely beautiful, slender and small with raven locks and warm brown eyes, and she was smiling in the picture. "If I liked girls... I would have liked her quite a lot. But she asked to be your companion." He smiled softly, he was just telling the truth.

"She saw you with Altair when you were out... and well I think she has an interest in getting to know you better." Handing the picture over he hoped that Sun would be happy with the choice, that... it would be alright. "So is it alright with you?"

[Jilin Sun]

"She saw me with Altair!?" Well, there wa slife in his voice again! He was not really sure of what was being said and so he frowned softly and he blushed very deeply. Okay, now this really was weird but he seemed to be rahter happy over that. He smiled softly and he picked the picture before looking at it for a long time. He sighed very softly and he just looked at her for a time. She really was a pretty girl after all.

He blinked slowly and he just smiled very softly. He simply sighed softly and he closed his eyes.

"....That's when I was shopping for.. your birthday gifts!" Oh dear lord.. this was so bad. Well, either way, he just sighed softly and he curled on his side. He was still a little bit upset buthe still was feeling totally weird. "...I... I have no idea what to think about it all. I... mean.. I really mean that this is slightly weird. I... don't see why she would be doing something like this... Why does she want to be my companion? I'm just... a random boy... girl.. whatever..."

[Aaron of Asturias]

"I think... she has a bit of a crush on you." It was not uncommon for Spanish people to have open marriages and crushes could be something allowed even towards married people as long as it was agreed that boht were alright with it. "From what Ling her father told me, she was very curious as to who you were."

Smiling softly, he tipped his head up slightly nad turned to look down at Sun. "You are quite a beautiful person you know, people do like looking at you."

Before he closed his eyes and rested on his back, huggin gthe boy warmly to him, and just relaxing, "Don't worry. She just really wants to get to know you really, though she's quite cute when you meet her. If you would like her to come to see you..."

[Jilin Sun]

"...but I can't do that... I mean.. I can't..." He could not even think of cheating on his hsuband but he would not say anything about it. He did not want him tof eel bad so he just smiled softly. He would just fix thigns with the girl when the time was the right one but for the moment it was just better to actually keep on going with that kind of things. He just sighed softly and he leaned his forehead against Aaron's chest.

"...I'm not beautiful, Aaron.. I'm weird... it's quite sad but it's still true.. I mean.. let's face it... I have a weird body, and I feel that I'm a boy but I... I have nothing to do with this."

He straddled the other man's hips and he looked into those dark eyes for a moment. He smiled very softly and he just tilted his head to the side. "....I will let her know that I simply... can't do that kind of things to you... still... It might be common here but it would not be right... though she is really cute." He blushed very softly. "...if you want.... you can.. go to your Aeris... maybe someday... when I get to know her..."

[Aaron of Asturias]

"You'll be a boy properly in a few days... and I'll stay here wiht you through it if you like." He ran his fingers softly through the boy's hair, lying back in the sheets and looking content with what was in his life. There were powerful sparks between Aaron and Aeris, the boy coudln't deny that, because he was warm and would speak at length to Aeris when he just needed osmeone to talk to. Aeris was quite good at playing 'speaker' for Aaron when he was aorund people as he still was quite shy.

"Just give it time and I'm sure we'll find everything we really want and we won't have to give this up." The warmth and deep friendship between them. Their relationship wasn't really meant to be sexual.

Though he was slightly confused by what Sun had meant by what he last said, But he traced a finger over the boy's lips softly.

[Jilin Sun]

The small boy was crying softly. He could not help it because he knew that there was somethignt hat would never work between them and that in the end he would be the one alone. It was alright.. he had to convince himself that it was alright and that the other man would go to someone else. He knew that it was only normal and he just really wanted things to be okay, but it was so very hard at this time. He wanted to be able to please him, to amke him happy but nope...

"...I'm sorry....."

He bit in his lip and he sniffed. He was trying his best to make srue that the other man was happy. He was crying because he was feeling so very odd. Their relation was not sexual but it was not because he really had not tried. He wanted this to work and he had managed it for a little while!

"...I'm still afraid. And I... I... I... I'm sorry.. I've been trying so hard to make you happy... but I guess it's not working.. and... it still it'S ahrd to think you'll have to go to someone else..." He sighed deeply. "...even if I'm a boy it will not change anything.. about how I feel that I can't do this... not right...."

[Aaron of Asturias]

"Heeey..." Aaron was pressing a few warm kisses over the boy's face, wanting to make him feel better because he didnt' want to see the boy cry, stroking his fingers across the boy's cheeks softly, he was hoping to make him feel better. "You do make me happy, Sun." The boy really did make him happy, he loved him in a warm happy way and it made him smile.

"But I want you to be happy too. That's what would make me happy, to see you smile and be really happy. Though it can't be in that particular way." It was different kind of happiness.

"No Sun, you really make me happy. I'm sorry that... I'm looking elsewhere for such things... but you really do make me happy."

[Jilin Sun]

"No... no. I don't make you happy because if I did... if I did you would not have to do that... You would not have to go somewhere else because I do try very hard. You can't pretend that I have not tried for you, huh?" Sun placed his hands on each hands of the other man's head and he lookd down into his eyes but he was crying and his vision was quite blurred at this point.

He sighed softly and he closed his eyes for a moment. "...it doesn't matter..." He looked quite sad and that way the other man could really see hi the way he was now, and that was something taht was scarying him at least a little.

"...How do you want me to be happy..? I still feel like I was traded... to you and to your family... to your country.. and all I can do is just do my job and shut up about the rest.... I am not to have a personal life here.. because it will not be with you.. I can imagine that this can be disappointing to you.. it's my fault..." He sniffed very sadly. "...What do you want from me now, then.. huh??"

[Aaron of Asturias]

Aaron was lying there getting more confused by Sun as he gazed up at her, his dark eyes gazing up at her. "I know you try hard, Sun. And I love you for who you are." He sighed softly, his eyes half closed as he gazed up at the boy over him, he was trying hard to know what to say.

"I want you to be happy. I don't know how, I'm trying too Sun. Thats why I arraged for Li to be able to be there with you... so you wouldn't be alone that you would have someone there... when I know I can't be... I want to be here with you.. but with my Uncle's condition... Catherine isn't a warrior and nor really is Altair..." It felt to him to do it... it was his duty to his family. "It is my duty to my family..."

He brushed his fingers across the boy's cheeks softly not sure what to do.

[Jilin Sun]

"...I know... but... you're... going to be leaving..." And he would know what would happen once the other man would leave with the other man. He would probably be having fun with Aeris too and then he would be forgotten. Well, that would work but it still was not cool in anything. He just sighed softly and he snuffed very softly. It seemed that the other man really had no idea how to make him feel good.

He bit in his lip and he moved aside.

"...but it won't be the same.. it will never be the same. I still like your presence you know and you're going to be away now, sice Iw as the ony away fr the last months. I had no one to talk to.. no one to hug.. Ther eis no one I really can allow myself to be close to so they don't do the same as you did and find ouy.. and what you want me to do with that girl.. huh? I already have enough problems with Catherine as it is... I don't know how to make myself happy and it HURTS."

[Aaron of Asturias]

"I have several weeks before I have to go anywhere Sun," His eyes looking at the boy, his body shifting as he pulled Sun back against him, and tucked him tightly agianst him, his arms wrapping around the smaller boy. "I will never forget you... I'm so sorry Sun."

He closed his eyes tightly and just let out s soft sigh, really not sure what to do because he was no certain what he should do, it was confusing for him because he didn't know what to do about it.

He REALLY wanted to make Sun happy and he was trying his best, but life wasn't very simple and he couldn't do it right. "I want... you to be very happy, but I'm tryign to make you happy.... I just need to know what would..."

[Jilin Sun]

"...I... will see how things go okay..? Maybe I will get used to this sort of new life.. really... but it will take a while too.. I mean... I'm not like you people and I simply can't be that.. open about things.. but I'm kind of hoping that thigs will go fine... I..." The small boy smiled very softly and he closed his eyes for a moment. He just snuggled in close and he tried to think of what to say and of what to do about it all.

"...Alright.. I'll spend time with that girl.. we'll see how things go. I will try to act as naturally as possible.. but'm normally a big flirt..." The boy just smiled softly and he sighed softly.

He simply stretched out a little. "...I will try to make myself happy but I think it will do me good to have a korean friend.. and to have the occasion not to feel so lost and to be in a life in which I do not really belong. "...I... I'm really glad.. that you're here with me.... but please... don't forget me... okay? Whenever.. you're elsewhere.. and... with someone else... please don't forget this... ok?"

[Aaron of Asturias]

"I won't forget you." He smiled softly, finding something he had set down so he couldn't break it. "I got you something... I really don't know if you would like it..." It was a small ceramic cat, and a little rabbit too, done in a japanese style that was seriously cute. Showing the boy he had been tryign to find a very cute gift for Sun, while his duties had taken over his life for several weeks.

"Promise, I won't forget you." He wouldn't ever, Sun was part of his life and for as long as the other boy held some affection towards him eh would try his best to care for him and make him feel welcome.

"Hope you like them." Carefully setting the small figures into Sun's hand, smiling softly, and looking so hopeful like that.